America, We Have a Problem - Part 4 - Sustaining our Resistance

 

The oligarchs and their puppets in the White House have conducted decades of propaganda and disinformation to discredit the revolution. Now, they seek to demoralize their opposition with a hailstorm of executive orders. They are counting on the resistance to wear themselves out, screaming and yelling before throwing up their hands in bitter resignation. This tactic has been working for the oligarchs for the last ten years, and there is no reason to believe they will change their tactics.

 

How do those who resist their reactionary propaganda and programs respond? How can we resist for the long haul?

 

America, Here’s the Problem

 

We have become spiritually unhealthy people whose dis-eased spirits live in hatred, distrust, anger, and despair. We waste the energy of our mind, body, and soul flailing against the prevailing winds of social change and have neither the patience, resilience, nor persistence to deal with this continuing threat to our common life. We must find a healthier way to sustain our resistance.

 

To mount a Spiritually Healthy and Sustainable Resistance (SHaSR—it rhymes with Chaucer), we need humility, respect for others, right-headedness, a shared community, and a deep capacity for solitude.

 

Humility offers a grounding in an acceptance of ourselves as we are. We have a self-standard to which we can rally when others attack our identity. We have no need to defend ourselves because we know who we are. Many attacks will fall apart on a solid wall of self-acceptance and humility. The Right can throw accusations of being woke, calling us snowflakes, “libtards”, left-wingers, and communists. Still, our self-acceptance will easily deflect these body blows. We know and accept who we are. Inordinate or poorly grounded pride leaves us vulnerable to these attacks, but humility protects us.

 

Respect for others allows us to acknowledge our friends and those who oppose us. Respect acknowledges and celebrates differences. When we are under attack, our respect for the other will allow us to see others as they are, no more and no less. Trump is not a demon. He is a deeply troubled old man fighting to defend himself from his nightmares. The oligarchs are neither extraordinarily gifted leaders who deserve our obedience nor are they wolves destined to rule us all. They are rich people with a deeply flawed understanding of power and influence and lack a social conscience. This respect will also allow us to stand in solidarity with those who are our co-resistors. We see them as clearly as we see ourselves and can ally with them appropriately. In respect, we see others for who they are and can resist accordingly.

 

Right-headedness will enable us to see the circumstances of our resistance and discern the things that support our vision and values. Troll farms seek to disinform us. They manipulate our perceptions and ideas in ways that serve their purposes. Right-headedness allows us to see through the nonsense and use our capacity for critical analysis to make up our own minds. When we are driven by fearmongering or flattery, right-headedness leads us to ask probing questions and the capacity to hear and assess the answers to those questions. With clear insights, we will find ways to respond to the counterrevolutionaries meaningfully.

 

Having a shared community allows us the space we need to relax, grow, find support, and gain new perspectives on our present lives. It allows us to celebrate our time and place with others, reflect on our experiences, and find the resources to rejoin the resistance. The administration uses carefully orchestrated rallies, while the resistance tends to rely on smaller gatherings in coffee shops and meeting halls. A shared community enables us to find a meaningful respite from the grind of resistance before stepping forward again with renewed energy.

 

Finally, we need a deep capacity for solitude that represents a celebration of our uniqueness. Community notwithstanding, we are solitary beings who are deeply vulnerable to loneliness, isolation, and fear of abandonment. When solitude more closely resembles these vulnerabilities, we become overwhelmed by the darkness. Grounded in our humble understanding of ourselves, we need to be able to experience our aloneness as a healthy solitude, time to reflect upon our struggles, assess who we are, and better define the role of our resistance in our lives. Solitude gives us space to do the inner work necessary to carry out our resistance. Our capacity for solitude directly correlates with our ability to engage the oligarchs long-term.

 

When our spiritual health provides us with these capacities, we will also be able to face the headwinds of the counter-revolution with courage (boldness), resilience (bounce), and perseverance (standing our ground). We may grow weary but will have the resources to face the gales. Fear, distrust, anger, and despair may make occasional visits, but we will have the strength to push beyond them. There will be no need to resign our resistance. We realize that quitting is the only sure path to defeat. We will rejoin the resistance and stand firm.

 

Choose Your Guiding Values Carefully

 

Where do these miracle capacities come from? They are the by-product of choosing love, trust, joy, and hope as our guiding values. Without them, we will be swallowed by fear, distrust, anger, and despair, which will steal our energy and lead us to resign ourselves to life in the oppressive world of 1984 or that proverbial Brave New World. But with love, trust, joy, and hope, we will step forward into a truly brave new world.

 

These four values represent the fruit of a healthy inner life. We can choose them because we have developed a deep and honest relationship with ourselves and the world around us. We are not captive to our fears, shame, anger, or despair. Healthy people can choose to love and trust in their relationships. Health spirits will face life head-on by choosing joy and hope.

 

However, they are not automatic nor without their cost. Love risks being hurt. Trust risks betrayal. Joy risks being found a fool. Hope makes disappointment a real possibility. But, by choosing these values in relationships and situations and being armed with the capacities described above, we can and will make a difference with our resistance and be able to sustain our efforts when the headwinds begin to blow.

 

Healthy relationships depend on love and trust. Healthy responses to difficult situations depend on our capacity for joy and hope. Sustainable resistance relies on healthy relationships with ourselves, our cohort of resistors, and with those whom we are resisting. Sustainable resistance faces the challenges placed before us by the counterrevolutionaries with a healthy joy and hope that justice will triumph in the end. These four choices are central to our SHaSR.

 

Love prioritizes the needs of others when those needs are greater than our own. A healthy person with two coats will, in loving response, share their second coat with a person who has none. The hungry child will be given food. The lonely pensioner will be offered companionship. Each of these actions is a choice grounded in a value, love, that prioritizes the needs of others over our own.

 

Healthy relationships thrive when we respond to the needs of others. But love demands that we identify the genuine needs of ourselves and others and then respond appropriately. We parse the difference in wants and needs and identify the needs by their impact on ourselves and others. An alcoholic may want or even need a drink, but is it loving to pour him a shot? We must weigh the other’s needs against our own and decide on a course of action. We may want to pour that drink to make our lives easier, but our desire does not match their need. Loving acts, though difficult, are energizing when they grow out of a loving relationship.

 

But love is only part of a healthy relationship. Trust is foundational to healthy relationships with ourselves and others. Trust means entrusting our needs to others. Like love, it requires that we distinguish between wants and needs and the ability of ourselves and others to address those needs. However, it requires an additional ability to know who and how much to trust others with our needs. (I never promised that this would be easy!)

 

Trust requires a clear-headed assessment of what makes our lives worthwhile and then recognition that we cannot provide everything within ourselves. Self-sufficiency is a dangerous delusion. We all need others. But we need to choose where we place our trust wisely. Providing an alcoholic with a drink invests our need to avoid conflict with them. But such trust is misplaced and destructive to the alcoholic. Know who you can trust with your needs and lean into those relationships.

 

However, we need to be wary of echo chambers. These places support your needs but violate your need to be honest with yourself. Many people on the left and the Right will invest deeply in relationships that confirm their biases instead of challenging their insights and conclusions. Resistance requires clear thinking and feeling. Echo chambers of people who agree with us about everything prevent us from being honest with ourselves and those around us. However, a clearly understood idea and insight, especially when it reveals our biases and prejudices, invigorates our resistance and helps us sustain it even when others disagree.

 

Joy is the chosen capacity to celebrate each day as an opportunity to live into our resistance and make a difference. It addresses our measure of control over our daily lives. Individually, we do not have any control over how our actions will change other people. However, we all can control how we enter those relationships. When our success or failure is no longer a factor in our joy, we find meaning and fulfillment. When we "enjoy" our resistance, we will find it easier to persevere, be more resilient, and bounce. Ask yourself each morning, what can I do today to resist the injustice around us. Let your resistance be the source of your joy, not your need to control the outcome.

 

But joy in the work alone will not sustain your resistance. We all need hope.

 

Hope is the choice to believe that justice will eventually emerge from the chaos. Hope is not so much about actual events surrounding the emergence of justice as it is about the timing of justice. Justice will appear in its own time, not ours. Hopelessness is more about impatience than reality. Hopelessness complains that it is "not yet." While hope leans into “what if” and lives “as if” justice is already appearing. It sees the seeds of justice in the murky chaos of the present. It keeps paddling toward the future, convinced that justice awaits us. It does not allow setbacks, lies, distortions, or propaganda to destroy those seeds of hope. Choosing hope over despair is to live our lives "as if" justice will prevail even though we may never see it. Such hope will feed our souls and give strength and insight to our bodies and minds. Combined with joy, it will make rising each day to the difficult circumstances of the resistance a health-giving moment.

 

Love and trust, joy and hope are essential choices for everyone who faces challenging circumstances. However, these values are aspirational. We must acknowledge that we grow into them but will not always live up to them fully. Therefore, choices must be made and renewed regularly. Just as our society has yet to live fully into the promise of our founders, these values are aspirational and inspire us to stay firm in our resistance. Love, trust, joy, and hope are meant to inspire us to rise each day and serve the resistance. Aspirational values are the only ones worth investing in our lives. Any aspiration that can be completely fulfilled would be too little to ask for with a precious lifetime. The resistance will not falter as long as we continue making these choices and push toward their fulfillment.

 

Spiritually Healthy and Sustainable Resistance (SHaSR)

 

Self-care will enable us to resist in the long haul by keeping the mind, body, and soul in conversation. When we do, our mind can see through the smoke, our body will withstand the hardships of the journey, and our soul can remain focused on the values and vision that keep us going.

 

Spiritual dis-ease occurs when our mind overthinks, our body becomes weary, and our soul gets lost in our emotions. As these problems increase, we struggle to maintain the energy to face challenges and disappointments. We may withdraw or start lashing out haphazardly.

 

Self-care enables us to keep the mind, body, and soul in communication with each other through our internal dialogue. The soul will help us maintain an appropriate energy level to make meaningful choices. The body will offer us the perceptive ability to see and interact with the world around us. The mind will remain clear enough to sort through the evidence and understand viable options so that we can respond meaningfully. Working together, the mind, body, and soul contribute unique voices and gifts. When they do so, we are able to maintain the energy we need to resist the prevailing winds of the counter-revolution. They help us choose to love and trust while living in joy and hope. These values will replenish the reserves of energy when we need it.

 

We may grow weary, but we will not faint.

 

We may become angry, but that anger will not deter us from our resolve to love and trust.

 

We may become confused, but our minds will still have the resources to step back and take a new look at the world around us.

 

Together, they will give us the energy we need to persevere until that new day dawns.

 

Let it be said about this generation, as was said about Elizabeth Warren, “Nevertheless she persisted!”

 

SHaSR is the key to our persistence, and our resistance will continue. We will not be silenced by intimidation, threats, or any other actions by the counter-revolution. Our ancestors invested too much of their lives in bringing our revolution this far. Many of us have been engaged in the revolution our whole lives. More people than ever are moving toward justice in their social conscience. May it be said of us, “Nevertheless, they persisted.”

 

Bob

America, We Have a Problem! Part 3 - Finding Our Way Home

 

 

 

This is the third part of my series, "America, We Have a Problem." The first defined our problem as a continuing revolution against all-too-familiar forces. The second talked about the sidetracking that I experienced on the way to finding a way to respond. (Follow the links if you are unfamiliar with the blogs.) In this third part, I share a way to foster a meaningful resistance to the coup in DC.

 

America is in a tough place right now. There is no respect for the rule of law or the guardrails provided by the separation of powers in the Constitution. Strangely, this is unprecedented but not unexpected. In fact, the actions by this Administration were published ahead of time by the extreme right-wing Heritage Foundation in their Project 2025. The Administration disavowed all knowledge of this document until January 20^th, when he started issuing Executive Orders enacting the Project’s goals. We are under siege by an organized, well-financed group of people who are conducting a coup against our Constitution. Unfortunately, we cannot count on traditional political solutions. Our political leaders opposing those who would tear up our Constitution need the rest of us to do far more than we have done in a very long time. We must resist every day and in every way.

 

The resistance needed to reclaim our constitutional way of life needs to happen in two layers: institutional leadership and the rest of us. The Constitution entrusts the power to shape and guide our national life to those who are elected to lead. Further, non-governmental institutions have followed this same tradition and rely on individuals to provide leadership. Therefore, we must empower and protect these duly elected or appointed leaders to "preserve, protect, and defend” our Constitution and the way of life that it defines.

 

All our institutions need to be part of this renewed revolution. These institutions include all levels of government, public and private education, non-profit organizations, religious communities, journalism, healthcare, and business communities. For our purposes, a social institution is an organization that is charged by a society to distribute the resources of that society according to the values and structure defined by the Constitution. The government distributes influence and power over public policy. Education distributes knowledge and the skills needed to critically utilize and process the world around us. Religious institutions distribute the resources of morality and faith. Non-profits distribute the resources needed by segments of our society in need, what was once called charity. Journalism disseminates accurate information about our life together. Healthcare distributes the community's health resources. And the business community distributes the capital and financial resources of society. Each of these systems of institutional life has a role in the revolution and is under the guidance of "We the People." They operate with our permission to serve our needs. An effective renewal of the revolution demands that the leaders of these institutions have what they need to be our voice in their domains.

 

But there is only so much these leaders can accomplish. These leaders are human beings and have the same needs as the rest of us. They may yield to the greatest pressure. They may lose sight of their mission as servants of society. They will become confused, coerced, confounded, coopted, and serve interests contrary to "We the people." This is our present circumstance, where the second layer, the rest of us, becomes critically important. We must help these leaders stay the course of the revolution.

 

The present crop of oligarchs has turned back the clock of the revolution because a perception exists that MAGA will vote against anyone who opposes their goals. This makes our leaders powerless, given the human weaknesses listed above. But we can change that! That is our superpower. We can remove that false perception and remind our leaders that they are accountable to "We the people" and not the 1%. But, to do so, the rest of us need to have their backs. These leaders need to know that they can count on us to back them up with our votes, money, words, and actions. They need to be reminded that they are in their positions to serve the public good, not private interests. How do we defeat this Administration and those who support them? By giving those leaders who serve the public interest our full-fledged and public support to do what they need to do to restore our constitutionally governed way of life. The bulk of the resistance needs to be done by the rest of us, supporting those taking active steps to resist within their respective institutions.

 

How do we do this?

 

First and foremost, we must keep the vision and values of the revolution alive by educating our children and grandchildren about its history. The arts, particularly music, are powerful tools for this. Set your music subscription services to the music of the 60s. Seek out contemporary protest music. I personally enjoy the works of John McCutcheon, Linda Sussman, Finn O'Sullivan, Louise Wisechild, Lucinda Williams, Ani DiFranco, Chris Rosser, Sean McConnell, Beth Nielsen Chapman, Hozier, Rage Against AI, and Tom Paxton. Let their music, along with the protest music from the 1960s, be the soundtrack of your daily life, keeping the values of the revolution alive and kicking in your mind and soul.

 

Another way of keeping the vision and values alive is to re-read some of your favorite books from your life during the last period of the revolution. Read or re-read Grapes of Wrath, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, or any other book that tells the story of justice and those who seek a better world. Re-read Orwell and Huxley to remember what a dystopia looks like. Then turn on “Star Trek,” “West Wing,” and “M.A.S.H” to remember and renew our ideals of what could be. Look for other shows, literature, graphic arts, and other expressions of contemporary artists to hear, see, and feel the current vibe of the revolution. Immerse yourself and your family in the art of the revolution.

 

Second, avoid supporting those who are undermining the revolution. Do not do business with people you do not trust to serve the best interests of your community. I am not a big fan of organized boycotts. They help get the word out but are easily manipulated and diluted by messaging from the oligarchs. Instead, do your research and decide which companies and organizations represent your vision and values. Teach yourself and your children how to assess the values of the organization. Share your buying choices with your neighbors. Recognize your time, energy, loyalty, and money as useful currencies in the revolution. Spend them well.

 

Third, Speak up! Lift your voices in the streets, town halls, coffee shops, and other places where people gather. But do so with respect for the others around you. A quiet word will be received much more readily than words magnified by anger, frustration, or arrogance. For example, avoid graffiti on public buildings or any other acts of blatant vandalism. Pay attention to your values and the values of your audience. Ignoring them hurts the revolution and aids the oligarchs!

 

Fourth, be a continuing and persistent presence on social media. Many decry the internet and social media as destructive to our culture. However, these media outlets are tools that, when used responsibly, can serve our institutional and personal needs in the face of resistance. Ignore the supposed anonymity of the internet and see yourselves as participants in a very public and visible forum. Use your values and vision to guide our participation. Do not say anything online that you would not say in a personal, face-to-face setting. Don't shout with all caps. Respect those who are online with you. Recognize the difference between rhetoric and facts. Avoid sensationalism and let your words speak for themselves. Observe community standards. When we make a mistake and post something that is untrue or hurtful, delete it and apologize. Tell your story and only share the stories of others when you believe you have permission to do so. Share insights and ideas. Share the vision and values that guide your daily living. Post information about resources for others to use in their resistance. Tell the stories of people being injured by the injustice of the anti-revolutionaries. Use social media as a tool for resistance, not a crutch for your personal biases and prejudices. Share your vision and values with others responsibly.

 

Fifth, in our society, our most precious power is the vote. Every political leader in our country (except for a few small towns where they vote by hand and in person) has been elected by a minority of the eligible voters. Winning these elections is a travesty of democracy. They may represent less than 30% of the American people. The meaningfulness of an election directly correlates to an increased percentage of participation by qualified voters. A show of hands only works when everyone is present and raises their hands. The revolution for the rest of us demands that everyone eligible to vote registers, educates themselves, and then shows up at the ballot box.

 

A second part of voting responsibility involves helping others use their vote to serve their vision and values. We need to advocate for open and honest elections, support "Get Out the Vote" efforts in our communities, and, if possible, help others register, educate themselves, and get to the polls. Again, an election is valuable to our constitutional way of life only to the extent that it reflects a greater and greater percentage of eligible voters going to the polls.

 

Sixth, we need to employ tangible ways to support leaders and candidates for leadership. The most valuable way is defending them when they come under attack with lies, innuendo, and outright violence. I have been the target of one of these smear campaigns, and I can attest to the pain when people who could defend you remain silent. It happens in city halls, county courthouses, State Legislatures, Congress, board rooms, clubhouses, churches, synagogues, mosques, and thousands of other places where influence and social power reside. Take a public stand defending those who have accepted the responsibility of leadership, especially in revolutionary times when the voices for justice are being drowned out by the megaphones provided to the MAGA crowd by the oligarchs. Send your leaders notes of support. Send money to help their campaigns. Speak up for them in your social circles. Publicly support them on social media. We are each responsible for ensuring that our public servants know we have their backs! This extends to all our public servants, even those who do not share our values. Defend them when they speak truthfully and act with integrity. And hold them accountable when they do not.

 

Finally, and most importantly, we must live with authenticity if we are going to mount a successful resistance against the forces of injustice and despair. We need to offer a credible and principled presence, especially in the eyes of those who disagree with us. This means we must live our daily lives publicly according to the values and vision we espouse. We must avoid hypocrisy and deception. These are the weft and warp of the oligarch’s web that they are using to ensnare their prey, your family, friends, and neighbors. We can distance ourselves from these oligarchs by living according to our principles and values. In fact, we will get the attention of the broadest part of the American People if we do so. They will be skeptical of our integrity at first. But over time, if our authenticity is clearly visible, they will take notice and listen more carefully to what we have to say.

 

Unfortunately, we are human, and we will slip into deception, either of ourselves or others. We will fail to live up to the principles we espouse. When we fall short, we can admit it, apologize for it, and do better! This will be even more astounding to people because the first rule in the oligarch's playbook is never to apologize or admit a mistake. Authenticity needs to be the warp to the weft of our principles if we are to weave a credible resistance that has the power of integrity behind it.

 

America, we have a problem. Our values and vision are under attack by our old enemy, the oligarchy. The revolution of the 1960s was just one chapter. The MAGA crowd has opened a new chapter under the manipulation of the Heritage Foundation (the modern-day John Birch Society) with the complicity of the newly elected administrations in Washington and statehouses around the country. But we can offer a meaningful and ultimately successful resistance. But we must do so using all the tools, resources, and skills available. We must keep the vision and values alive through music, the arts, and a vital public presence in social media. We must support the leaders in all the institutions in our culture who share this vision of the America that could be. We must vote, speak up, and protect their backs as they step out to lead. But ultimately, our success will hinge on the integrity of our words and actions over the long haul.

 

We must resist violence and live with integrity in our words and actions. We must apologize when our anger and fear get the best of us. When you feel your vision slipping away, find the support you need to recover it. Gather with neighbors and friends to share your vision and values and listen to theirs.

 

In Part 4, I will discuss what we need to sustain our resistance through the coming months and years of the cultural struggle. This struggle will demand that we deepen our spiritual health and discover the resilience, courage, and hope to see this through to the dawning of a new America from the ashes that are gathering about our feet. The Phoenix will rise from these ashes, and I hope that all of us are around to see it soar.

 

Bob

America, We Have a Problem Part 2 - While I wasn't looking...

 

This week, I planned on writing the second part of the blog, following up on what we can do to engage in our Cultural Revolution threatened by Trump and his MAGA crowd. I worked on several bits and pieces for the blog. I found my central idea and started to build the outline. But when I wasn't looking, something started happening. I found myself lingering in bed, later and later each morning. I had trouble concentrating when I sat down in front of the computer screen. Generally, writing lifts my spirits, but every time I touched the keyboard, I could feel the energy running out onto the table. In lieu of writing, I played on my iPad and snacked! Yep, something was going on. Saturday morning, as I lay in bed debating whether I wanted to bother getting up or not, a little voice whispered in my inner ear. You're grieving, and you don’t know it!

 

Most folks encounter unacknowledged grief from time to time. Retirees may experience unacknowledged grief when they leave their work life behind. They miss the routine, satisfaction of the work, or the people with whom they worked. Empty nesters may grieve when their last child leaves the coop. People who have gone through a life-changing health event, such as a serious illness or a major surgery, may grieve the loss of their 'healthy outlook.' Some grieve when a close friend moves out of the neighborhood. These events can cause symptoms much like those I have been experiencing. We may not attribute our depression or lack of energy to grief. But, when we fail to connect the dots to grief, the depression will deepen and, in some cases, steal our joy completely.

 

 Yep, I am grieving! All the signs point to a loss. But which one? Unfortunately, loss is a common companion for people in their 70s. We lose friends and family. We have said goodbye to things we used to be able to do with ease. We are saying goodbye to the future as the inevitable, inexorably approaches. Then there are the everyday little losses that accumulate in our souls. These can be as simple as running out of your favorite coffee or hearing that your favorite restaurant has closed. In sitting with grieving people as a Hospice Chaplain, I was amazed at the things that triggered or deepened a person's grief. Yep, I am grieving.

 

The first step in dealing with grief is to acknowledging it and then, if possible, identify the corresponding loss. This acknowledgment is a powerful tool that can help us regain a sense of control over our emotional well-being.

 

I found my first clue came by looking back at my journal and figuring out when the depression began to appear. It started around the second week of November and has been encroaching on more and more of my life ever since.

 

In our culture, the common expressions of grief are denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and acceptance. While these are often labeled as stages, most people don't experience them in a staged manner. Each person grieves in their own unique way and in their own time. However, these five experiences are quite common with all grief. As I reflected on the last three months, I found instances of all of them. Our grief is personal and unique to us, and that's okay.

 

Also, my latest bout with depression began when I heard myself giving voice to my loss of hope with some very close friends. The conversation was about the turmoil following the change at the White House. I am generally a hopeful person who stares into the abyss and still sees the candle burning in the darkness. I was astounded when I heard myself confess that I had lost hope! Losing hope was a life-changing loss for me. It was devastating. I had found the cause of my grief.

 

In the last two weeks, I have written extensively about recovering hope in the face of a cascade of painful news from Washington, DC. I was struggling to recover hope. But whether there was hope or not, the damage had been done to my psyche. I discovered that I was no longer invulnerable to existential despair. And that loss was devastating. It was personal. It touched on every part of who I am. And as long as I failed to recognize it as the source of my grief, I was not only staring into an abyss, but I was falling into it! Such is the power of unacknowledged grief.

 

This brings us to the first step in dealing with unacknowledged grief. “When you find yourself in a hole, quit digging.” As long as I was unable to recognize my grief, I kept digging away. I blamed myself, the people around me, the headlines, and my health. In the process, I was falling deeper and deeper into the hole of anxiety, helplessness, and despair. I had to drop the shovel and look up at the edge of the hole that had engulfed me. When I realized that I was making myself miserable with my guesswork, I stopped guessing and started looking for the source. Amazingly enough, as soon as I recognized that I was grieving the loss of my identity as a hopeful person, I stopped falling. I was still depressed, but I could feel solid ground beneath my spiritual feet. I stopped digging and started looking up.

 

Relying on my experiences with other grieving people, I knew that I needed to find comfort in my routines without becoming a captive of my habits. I needed some normal to steady my journey, so I focused on my everyday routines. As I have written before, routines are those actions we take to deal with the details of life. Shaving, washing dishes, etc., can help us get back in the groove. Routines require that we stay awake and mindful of what we are doing. Otherwise, we become trapped in our routines, and they can devolve into unhealthy patterns. And, by not paying attention, we repeat the unhealthy behaviors.

 

For example, I enjoy writing. I have several habits that help me find the sweet spot of writing where everything else disappears, and I enter that Zen-like state called "the flow." However, a small part of me stays attentive. It alerts me when my words are not as clear as I would like. It reminds me to get up and move around periodically. I am in my routine of writing. But, if I quit paying attention and start habitually pounding out words on the keyboard, things go awry. I become trapped in the habit, and everything suffers: my writing, body, and soul. Eventually, when I step away from the keyboard, I am exhausted.

 

After identifying my grief, I could take refuge in my writing routines and was able to process my grief. That is the power of routines. They free up just enough of our lives so that we have the energy and mindpower to process and work through our grief. I assume that most folks do not routinely write. Some folks clean the house. Others read fiction. Many go for walks. Regardless of the routine, allow them to gently open your life to the feelings you are experiencing and then feel them.

 

A woman I worked with following the loss of her husband found solace in housework. Between dusting and mopping, she would sit and remember the life she shared with him. Then, she would get up and start another project. In one of our last visits, she noted that she had the cleanest house on the block and, with a twinkle in her eye, added, "And I have cleaned a lot of stuff out of my heart, too!"

 

One further step proved helpful, as well. I mentioned at the top that I had discovered that I was grieving during a conversation with some trusted friends. These friends are part of my tribe. They are always there when I need them, or they need me. I meet with some by Zoom. I contact others via phone, email, text, and FB. Our life on the road would not be possible without these valued and trusted voices. The safe space they provide allows me to hear myself talking and see what my friends hear in my words. Through them, I could see my grief and discover its source. They allowed me to talk my way through the moment by simply listening. My friends respect each other too much to rush to judgment or a quick fix. Instead, they offer a sacred space where my soul can whisper and be heard. In these difficult days, we all need a trusted tribe of friends.

 

Suppose you are depressed and feel empty, angry, or desperate to find a way out. In that case, you might ask yourself if you are grieving and then, if so, try and specifically identify the loss that may be causing it.

 

Then, give yourself room to grieve by staying engaged in your routines. Share your feelings with trusted friends. Commit yourself to taking care of yourself so you can muster the strength to resist the changes being forced upon us. Next week, I will share some ways we can engage in resistance by supporting the revolution against those who would drag us back into the first half of the 20^th century. 

 

 

 

In the meantime, regardless of the scary clown show in DC, we need hope to keep going. Therefore, commit yourself to finding and maintaining that hope. It will help keep your grief at bay as we continue resisting the counterrevolution against all we fought for in the last 50 years. Stay healthy. Your voice is needed for the revolution.

 

Until next week,

Bob

America, We Have A Problem! Part 1 - They're Back!

 

America, we have a problem. But, the trials we face as a culture will not be solved by flipping a political switch back to a Democrat or any other political party. Our problems go far deeper than the occupant of the chair behind the Resolute Desk.  They are far deeper than draconian cuts to the Federal workforce by a slash-and-burn billionaire whose concern is limited to his bottom line. It is far deeper than the MAGA movement with its racism and xenophobia. It is even deeper than the divisions and suspicions growing between the USA and our former allies worldwide. Yes, America, we have a problem!

 

But this is not a new problem. We stepped back from this abyss in the 1950s when the problem surfaced the last time. Back then, our culture was drifting back toward its racist, xenophobic past with the McCarthy Hearings. Despite reeling from the threat of nuclear annihilation, post-WWII America got a taste of the good life, driven by the GI Bill. America rediscovered how “exceptional” we were when compared to the rest of the world that needed us to save them from fascism.

 

Believing that we were incredibly blessed by God, we declared that our Pledge of Allegiance needed to include “... under God….” We printed "In God We Trust" on our currency. That same burst of pride extended to cities that red-lined districts to keep out those elements (POC) who would lower the value of their newly mortgaged houses financed with the FHA. The nuclear family was clearly understood as the only real family, and women knew their place in the kitchen. Television promoted this post-WWII America as the greatest country to have ever existed. Patriotism, meaning American First, came across small screens with flag-waving movies and series. And, if you didn't "Love it," then you had only one other choice, "Leave it." We learned that politics alone could not solve our drift into this abyss. Eisenhower tried. But the John Birch Society and the KKK would not be denied their time and place, center stage in the “American Century!” Our age-old sickness of hubris and hatred of diversity, equity, and inclusion came to the surface. But the antidote arrived in the late 1950s and 1960s, bubbling up from the barrios, slums, and other communities that sheltered the oppressed.

 

It began in the ghettos, in the churches of minority groups, and in the communities that gathered around our colleges and universities. These diverse people wrote music expressing their sorrows and hope in the values that foster life. They shared poetry and preaching that helped us declare these values and look beyond their moment to a new day. They wrote books that offered clear statements of these values and envisioned a path into the future. Women, who earlier would have been called suffragettes, gathered behind the banner of feminism. African Americans gathered behind men and women who were the spiritual children of Frederick Douglas, Sojourner Truth, and W. E. Dubois. Young people brought their passion and energy out of the coffee houses and into the streets, where they proclaimed "Flower Power" and "Power to the People." Native People started listening to Vine Deloria and Dennis Banks, who carried the passion of Geronimo and Sitting Bull into a new day. Through the 1960s and 1970s, this synergy of ideas, a passion for freedom, and the cries for justice coalesced into what was eventually called "The Countercultural Revolution." This ongoing and ever-evolving movement is driven by a group of values and ideals that embrace the hopes and dreams of a generation of people. The revolutionaries, past and present, are driven by a deep commitment to make a difference, relying on love and rejecting all forms of power-mongering. They declare their opposition to the "Man" with music, chants, art, and speeches that clearly communicate their values and ideals. They challenge the racism, injustice, and segregation of post-WWII America. This is the antidote to what ail

s us, and it continues to work, engaging us all in the ongoing fight for justice and equality!

 

America has made remarkable progress in the 50 years since the Revolution began. We pushed the former John Birchers underground, where they licked their wounds and nurtured their own vision of an America that would take us back to their “good old days.” Barriers to voting for women and POC were torn down. Women were granted the right to make decisions about their health without the consent of their fathers or husbands. Equal opportunity laws were enacted in employment, housing, and education. Public acceptance of LGBTQ+ rights to live their lives in public, including marriage, grew exponentially. As social progress took hold and the many liberation movements began to erode the hold that the WASP Males held in political, economic, educational, religious, and other social institutions, a broader segment of the American People became uneasy. When the uneasiness became dissatisfaction, this broader segment of Middle America began listening to the voices of the reactionaries that were amplified by talk radio and Fox News. This progress should make us proud and optimistic for the future!

 

The wealthiest Americans began to promote a return to laissez-faire capitalism and lifted a second-rate TV star turned politician to the national stage from his post as president of the Screen Actors Guild via the California Statehouse. The presidential mouthpiece of the oligarchs, Ronald Reagan, promoted the mythology of trickledown economics that convinced this dissatisfied midsection of America that if we took care of the top 1%, then the wealth would trickle down into their bank accounts and they could become millionaires, themselves. He convinced us that the government was the problem. Taxes on the wealthy drained away Middle America’s share of the wealth. Regulations on industry and business made it harder for the uber-rich to make enough money to share with the middle and lower classes. The Counter Revolution had begun to gain traction. As the standard of living began to drop, the middle class began to shrink, and the old voices of racism and injustice were amplified even more by the growing use of a new technology called the internet.

 

The Countercultural Revolutionaries of the 1980s doubled down, ignoring the lessons their parents had learned in the 1960s. They became shrill, further alienating society's broad and vulnerable middle section. The next 30 years saw the message of freedom becoming lost in demands for more. Less attention was spent on bringing the broad middle along with them. They began talking in their own language to one another, no longer concerned with communicating with anyone outside of their shrinking circle. They had tasted power and wanted more. Many preferred being seen as properly progressive rather than effective agents of social change. By the 2010s, the oligarchs and their puppets in the GOP had begun seriously eroding the gains of the Revolution.

 

Then along came an amoral opportunist who saw a way to divide the country and claim a power not seen in the US in many, many years. After switching parties to the GOP, he relied on a political theory that was applied to Germany in the 1930s. You know the rest of the story. The division worked, and the oligarchs found a new mouthpiece to advance the same old mythology. The Counter Revolution fell silent, waiting for the energy to burst forth again and continue the job that was most recently employed in the 1960s.

 

The Countercultural Revolution will not find its rebirth in a politician. If so, the last presidential election would have turned out differently. No, our problem goes much deeper. This is a battle for the values and vision of America, just as it was in the late 1950s. We must recapture our values and vision of who we can be and then change the heart of middle America with that hope.

 

How can we do that?    Politics is only a small part of the solution because political leaders follow cultural change. They do not lead it. They follow the leading of those who vote for them. We need to recruit those voters for the continuing countercultural Revolution. All the revolutionaries had in the 1950s were a few core values. But those core values were enough to birth a movement. How do we help rebirth this movement, especially in Middle America?

 

Here are a few ideas to consider as you look for your role in this latest iteration of the Revolution.

 

First, we must admit that MAGA accurately represents American Culture!    MAGA is our culture!    It is who we are and have been since we first landed on these shores 400 years ago. It was the culture that spawned the counterculture of the 60s. Our current struggles are not new. The current crop of counterrevolutionary leaders in the White House and Congress are not leading us forward. They are dragging us back into the darkest days of the American experiment when women, people of color, LGBTQ+, and immigrants were denied the rights that WASP males enjoyed. We are engaged in a cultural revolution against the same powers and principalities that prevented Americans from finding their best selves. We are the latest generation to take up the banners of freedom for all.

 

Second, we need to continue the countercultural Revolution against MAGA. We do not have to invent the Revolution; we only have to continue it. We already have half of the country on the side of the Revolution!    And another 10 –20 % are ready to join if we can declare our values in ways that they can hear it!    Listen to the Beatles if you are confused about what those values were. It is time for our poets and songwriters, comedians and screenwriters, preachers and college professors to share the words of Revolution that have become part of the American counterculture of the last 50 years. And then encourage new voices to pick up the mantle and declare their vision of what America can be. Just as the third wave of feminism extended the work of the suffragettes and their successors, we need a new generation of counterrevolutionaries to build on the successes of their grandparents.

 

Third, we need to identify and isolate the voices that keep the countercultural voices from coming together. We need to become better at translating what the oligarchs and counterrevolutionaries are really saying by their words and actions. We need to avoid temper tantrums expressed in rhetoric. Our task is to help that 10-20% see through the MAGA fog. We must speak plainly without the hype of exaggeration. We must point out the underlying values that support the counterrevolutionaries' words and actions, exposing them for what they are. Yep, they have no clothes, and we need to point that out at every turn. Their own words and actions are enough to turn the tide against them and toward freedom. We must speak the truth in love without fear or hyperbole.

 

In my next blog, I will go into more detail about how we can take up the challenge and continue the Revolution. For now, I hope you see that you can make a difference. You can be part of the rebirth of a revolution that has stalled in the last few decades. We are a people who love freedom for all. We still believe that the words of the Declaration of Independence are true. We have a vision of an America that is beyond oligarchs and laissez-faire capitalism. Please read the next blog, where I will share some things that each of us can do to be part of the continuing counterrevolution. Join the Revolution!

 

Yes, America, we have a problem. But the good news is that you can be part of the solution!

 

Bob

Are You Feeling Powerless? You're Not!

 

Now that Project 2025 is taking shape in the Federal Register and MAGA holds the reins to the Federal Government, many sane and compassionate people are feeling helpless. Unfortunately, our feeling of helplessness is not a byproduct, this is part of the MAGA plan. They intend to flood the news with the idea that "resistance is futile" and teach America "learned helplessness,” a well-documented psychological condition where people give up hope and accept their helplessness by refusing to resist. It is grounded in the false supposition that feeling helpless is the same as being powerless. Like everything else about Trump and his minions, it is smoke and mirrors. We who stand against all that MAGA represents are not powerless; we have the most powerful weapon on Earth if we are willing to use it. We have the power of human empathy!

 

Therefore, since we are not powerless, we must answer the question: "What do we do during this four-year hiatus from our quest for a just and compassionate America? "We can give voice to the Victims of the MAGA Ideology and let loose the power of empathy to transform our neighbors and ourselves!

 

There is a contemporary word for empathy that has become all the rage in MAGA circles, woke. The leaders of the MAGA movement know that as long people no longer feel the pain of the immigrant, the transperson, the LGTBQ+, young girls, women, the mentally and/or physically challenged, African-Americans, Hispanics, Asians, Middle Eastern Folks, MAGA will have a free hand to abuse these vulnerable populations at will. They can foster their reign of terror on the weak and vulnerable because the majority will be gaslighted into believing that these victims deserve what they are getting. And if MAGA leaders can distract the rest of us from the pain they’re causing in the real lives of others, we will quiver in our powerlessness, writhing our hands in despair, and ultimately do nothing to stop the abuse. The Anti-woke rhetoric seeks to prevent us from feeling empathy by labeling it as weakness. MAGA leaders use this rhetoric because they know that a woke society will be their downfall. Empathy has the power to heal divisions and make connections between people. MAGAs goal is to divide and conquer, leaving them in complete control of our society.

 

This means that we have a vital role to play in addressing this campaign of terror that our MAGA president and his oligarchical masters are conducting on the American People. We who feel the pain of MAGA’s victims need to help the vulnerable and truly powerless to tell their stories.

 

We need to foster cognitive dissonance in the MAGA allies and help them look past the rhetoric that appeals purely to their biases. We must help them to see with their hearts those who MAGA is abusing with their regressive policies.

 

Here are 10 ways you and I can regain our power and counter the MAGA megaphone that is attempting to shout most Americans into silence.

 

1.     Learned Helplessness—Become aware of the psychological state called "learned helplessness."  When we are overwhelmed by adverse events, we start to believe that we are powerless. We cannot change or influence the events. This leads to depression, anxiety, and resignation from any responsibility for the future. It creates feelings of powerlessness, even when opportunities for change may exist. It leads us to dismiss our real power.

 

2.     Social Media—We need to share and share again the stories of the deportees and the transperson who is denied their true identity. Use FB, Bluesky, and even Truth Social (if it allows you to be on its heavily curated feed). We need to amplify the voices of the poor and the minorities who are being shoved aside to make room for the male, white, rich, and powerful. We need to help the elderly and very young voices to be heard through the raucous crowds declaring that America is back again. We need to ensure that middle America sees the tears of the immigrant child being torn from the arms of their family as they are being shipped back to the conditions that caused them to seek refuge in the “Land of Opportunity.” However, it is imperative that we share authentic, verifiable voices from trusted news sources. I trust only two, Associated Press and  Reuters. All the others have a perceived or real bias that makes their reporting easily dismissible by MAGA, even when the reporting is accurate.

 

3.     Personal Network—Stay in contact with your friends and family who are part of groups being attacked. Listen to their stories. Encourage them to speak up for themselves. If history is accurate (and I believe it is), even if they are not under attack now, they will be sooner or later. Also, if you are sharing their story, be sure to ask permission.

 

4.     Share your own Story—Do not hesitate to let others know about your personal pain. If you are a victim, speak up in as safe a way as possible. If you are a victim’s ally, you have a story to tell as well. Be willing to share your pain alongside your friend or family member.

 

5.     Be an Advocate in your personal relationships and conversations. Call out racism, sexism, gender bias, and classism in conversations. But do so by directing the conversation back to the victims. Avoid focusing on the abuser. Instead, allow them to see the victims of their rhetoric. Help them experience their victim's pain. At first, they will be very resistant and may never be able to get past their excuses and rationalizations. But keep at it in later conversations. This is a long strategy. Be patient with them.

 

6.     Defend DEI Policies in the Workplace and Businesses – Do not be shy in telling stores and other businesses why you are not doing business with them. If your employer is turning their back on DEI policies, speak up. The business community also needs to be held accountable for their choices.

 

7.     Contribute to Food Banks, Refugee Organizations, Homeless Shelters, and other relief organizations. Avoid Fundamentalist Church-run agencies since many of these have signed on as active or tacit supporters of the MAGA movement. Check out any organization you may be considering. Do not hesitate to call or write to ask for information on their policies and practices. If it has even the aroma of MAGA, send your money and time elsewhere.

 

8.     Use your Phone Camera to document abuses when you see them and, if possible, share those images on social media with permission from the victim. Please focus on the expressions of the victim's pain and make its reality undeniable.

 

9.     Watch as much news as you feel appropriate, but avoid sources more interested in propaganda regardless of their biases. Avoid confirmation bias in your thinking as rigorously as you avoid the MAGA propaganda. Allow yourself to feel empathy for the victims. Then, find others with whom you can process those feelings. Do not try to carry them all by yourself.

 

10.  Stay centered on your own values. Be aware of the subtle changes that can creep in when we are being gaslighted or subjected to other abuse. Regularly return to your source of ethics and worldview. Read your sacred scriptures. Read the philosophers and theologians that speak to your soul. Go back and read the works of fiction that help you see the world in healthy, life-giving circumstances. If you are not a reader, subscribe to a streaming service and search out the movies and TV series that remind you about the best of life. Stay centered and focused.

 

11.  Lastly, when it gets to be too much, take a break, but set a date when you will get back into the fray. This challenge is too important to allow “I’ll get around to it when I can” or “When I feel like it” to paralyze your taking action in the future. Your voice matters. You have power. Do not let either be silenced or wasted.

 

We cannot change their hearts or minds. But those who have allied themselves with MAGA can and will if they can see and feel the pain of the victims of MAGA’s cruelty. We have the power to hold up a mirror in their lives so that they can see for themselves the pain they are inflicting by their support of MAGA in our culture. We are not powerless. Our feeling of helplessness is being manufactured in the MAGA troll farms and by the talking heads on the news outlets that have aligned themselves with their ideas. Reclaim your power and do as many of these 10 things as possible. You can make a difference in the lives of people suffering real pain in these chaotic times.

 

The choice is simple, and paraphrasing Jimmy Carter, choose to do all you can, for as many people as you can, as often as you can, and you will make a difference. Resistance is not futile if you understand and rely on the power of empathy to guide your hands and heart.

 

Bob

 

By the way, if you need an ear to help you process all of this, please feel free to add a comment or send me an email. We are in this together.